Sunday, August 27, 2006
thoughts
so wat it i told my inner feelings to this guy. as if he goin to shout out to them. if he did? omg i m so dead. there is still 3 mths to go. n i like c them most of the time. ohh man. should have shut up than said it proudly. no. norma u can be like this, u gt to be open. wat the use of hidding. at least u tried to make sumthing out of it. than hidding it through out my life in bwn. n regret it later. atgh. hope they dnt knw bah. =(
10:53 PM
Saturday, August 26, 2006
art work
wohoo. at last i finish half of my art works. have to go other few rounds of sleepless nite soon. haha. nth better tp do so post this hard work of mine. haha. =)(plate 1 to 7 + canvas)
10:22 PM
Saturday, August 19, 2006
thinking, nah.
why do things happened wen i dont wan to knw abt it. n wat actually did i do wrong. i nvr find fault wit u nor that person. i just go ahead n smile happily. n y is heaven so not close to me. i m way far behind, till they had to make me go through so many obstacles. i dnt describe it as heart pain, but its just shockin. knwing that i cant be overreacted, but keep smiling. its weird for me. wan i think abt it, i felt empty. y must i think that much.not as if it gt affected me in a huge nor small extend lah. but the feeling of having no feeling n so empty make me as if, i not here. i m like in a other world call lost... did i offend smth to u, that make u sm sort of hating me while chatting.y is he acting so strangely towards me, unlike his fren, still acting all weirdly.
2:34 PM
Friday, August 18, 2006
suprisingly
i thought u never notice me. all this while, u siting beside me never once u share ur sweets and snack wit me. n we seldom talk to each other. on the result day u spoted my name n check my result? wat was that all about. maybe i m over reating. but he totally surprise me alot. the onli time we talk was abt ur art work, which was few mths ago like 3 mth. happily smiling. =)
9:36 AM
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
a little girl still crying on her way home.
People around me especially the teachers do care about me. i really appreciate what my chear said to me. yesh i know i from nt go na. N it is a huge different. But than i have been in na class for the pass two years. its not that I m not unable to adapt what i learn. it just that i know my standard for my language is not that great. Surely just pass of fail by few marks. But than there is this thingy inside me saying that no matter how hard I try, I still cant pass. I tried n tried but still fail. I do want to make my chear proud of me, but I just can’t.. . .
It true what chear said that when a malay person knw that he/she fail their malay language, they will look down on us. Because it is our mindsets to think like that. n that why i m afraid to tell my cousin n my parents abt my result. they would seriously be shock, sad n unhappy about it. n that y i didnt tell them because it will make matter worst. i cant take the pressure anymore n thats why i put on a smiling face. trying act strong but deep inside still hurts.
n that why a little girl was crying on her way home.
7:44 AM
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
unlucky
ohh k, i was late to school due to sum printing stuff that i had to do last min. becoz of my freaking com which was half jam of stupid thingy. i was late by 3 mins. argh! wat the hell. k, i get over it. thought dnt wan to go skool but than the printing thingy mus hand in today. so i guess, doin dc is not a bad idea.but that the worst thing happen. mine beautiful brown hair was caught by mr farid!wat the hell. i was running away frm mrs danapal all my time in bwn just nt to be caught by her. n mr farid is the one who caught me. shit. all this while u r e one who spot check abt hair style lah. u the one who let me escape all this while. he ask to let down my hair. so i did it. than as to go office n report to mdm normala. than she also shock. the thing that i hate abt mr farid is that he teach me smth abt islam. like i dnt knw! ello. i knw Allah give me pure black hair! n i dye my hair brown becoz i want to n i hav my parents permission to do that. wats more my mother dye for me! its not haram lol! n wat more we can even dye black! u freak. like ur agama is so gd. wat the fuck. at least i did dye dark brown befor skool open n it has slowly the black disapper lol. n wats more u give me one day onli.! unlucky day man. even the class photo was a sudden shock. but fun! haha.
6:56 AM
Sunday, August 13, 2006
sadness
its his b'dae tmr. n he is feeling sad now. n guess wat i m feeling sad too. not becoz he is sad thats mean i also must be sad rite. i think the she he wanted to hear a b'dae wish frm nvr remember his bdae . i hope he is fine. =) but that the truth was told today. the other he cal her a frend. but the truth is that her is someone special to him. they spend most of their time togther. i dnt knw wat i shd feel. they arent in any relationship but they wan too. they secretly in love wit each other. its like i felt empty n blank. nth cld be say nor done. but than i think its time for me to reach to the other side of life. if the other he could onli tell the truth than i knw i frm others surprisingly. hmm.
12:31 PM
Saturday, August 12, 2006
no feelin
im not feeling sad just becoz i fail my o melay. i felt nothing, no feelin, no emotions. just afraid. afraid to tell the truth to the elders. scared of seein my malay teacher. i did badly. maybe im just the onli one who fail badly. i make my teacher feel sad, she was speechless today. i wonder how she is now? blamein herself that she didnt teach us well, which is so not true! she did work her ass out. thank you.
11:20 AM
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
sleepless nites
wohoo. i have finish watching princess hours korean drama show in two day, how cool. sat n sun, frm 2pm to 5 am. hua3, i m totally nuts. its callin me to watch again n again! the cast so cute lol. so caring, sweet n romantic. hahah. i wan to watch some more. it is freaking nice! my fren did this. so i m uploaded it here to say "THANKIES" to effah for her effort yah!
12:19 PM
Sunday, August 06, 2006
princess hours
i was blog hoppin to joelle blog n saw this cute pic of a korean drama show called Princess Hours. so i had nth better to do i wen you tube to watch it. n guess wat i send the whole afternoon till nite to watch 8 esp. haha. i shear tears, laughter n anger. =)
the cast. i m in love wit this guy. cute lol. the one on the right.
ehh. wait this guy also cute rite? haha.
12:54 PM
