it's hot chip!

Monday, November 21, 2005
jlN raye wiT freN

wenT oUt.. jlN raYE wiT fReN.. tHEre waS diL n haN.. perfecT coupLE.. whicH hurt my eyeS to muCh seeinG thEm lovinG wiT each other.. thEre waS fi... loveLy, nicE baju she weaR.. there is aN.. smart on thaT day onli wiT his kain saMpinG.. tHEre ifaH, whO wear thE colOur aS mine.. at least got soME oNE accompaNy mE.. if not i wiLl be tHE oNE whO wear blue on thaT daY n tHE reSt blaCk.. haHAZ..

i onLi knOW tHAt i wenT two housE onli.. stupiD ritE.. i knOW.. jLn raYE or waT.. wenT to idaH housE.. sat there for 45 miN laH.. talk crapS.. thaN we wenT to maS housE.. thAt ifaH, aN n fi toOk taxi go maS housE.. wat e heLL.. onli a few bus stOp AWAy, aBt 3 bus stoP onli.. tHE stupid tHing is that tHEy waited down stair foR us.. alAmaK!! go uP to hEr housE laH.. mcN tak biaSe aJe.. stay there untiL 9.30 pM.. waTCh harry poTter... laH, so siaN.. so msG zaidi.. heHE.. he aCtuaLLy got no mooD to maKe me haPPy so i try to accompaNy hiM loL.. he was so fed uP wiT his mUm.. alamak.. hiS muM, i thouGHt hiS gaL.. aiyoh.. sounDed so sad.. gueSs waT, hE nvR haD a gaL befoR.. haHAZ.. untiL he is 18 thaN can hav a gaL.. hahAZ.. i muz wait for 3 yearS thaN can haV hiM..[ liKE reaL onli]

this q caMe aBt.." waT do u reaLLy c mE aS? " i wantEd to say i c him as somEonE who i can turN tOo.. some onE whO i admiRe.. some oNE who maKe mE haPpy.. sOme oNe whO i wisH he could bE miNE.. but thaN nonE of thaT i typE.. belieVE it or noT, i typE as a "adik" [brOtHEr].. stupid riTe.. wat to dO.. hE treated mE aS akaK [sisTer]..wat u expecT me to saY.. i m mindLeSs..

3:07 PM

Saturday, November 19, 2005
beLievE iT or noT

beLieVE iT oR noT.. itS was my faulT that we brokE oFF.. waT shiT.. i doN't remEMber saYinG thaT.. i dOn't remEmbEr thaT smS i sEnd to U.. since wHEn?? i realLy saiD thaT mEh.. sureLy thEre sumthiNg wrong u diD n that y i said aLL thosE stuFf.. riTE?? noW thaN u toLd tHAT soMe onE.. n thaT soMe onE toLD mE.. liKE waT e heLL.. so lonG alreaDy, noW than teLL.. u r maKinG me confuSE.. n knOW waT i caN't eveN haV a propEr sleeP foR dayS, thinkinG abt thaT.. makIng mE sO streSS aBt it..

anIwaY if iT waS my fauLt.. i m sORry.. i diD not meaN waT i say..[ actuaLLy i don't recaL anythinG wat i saY] buT aniway soRrY.. wisH i coUld saY it persOnaL Ly to u n taLk thing oUt.. but that day would nvR coME truE..

2:43 PM

Tuesday, November 15, 2005
claSs bBq

haHAZ.. haD mY claSs bbQ aT aLoHA resORt [chAngi].. thiNgs do not tuRn uP gOOD aT begininG.. everYonE waT hoT.. no One haD paid foR the bbQ.. nO boDy plaN to buY tHE fooD.. PpL wHO r suPPosE to cOMe diD not turN uP.. sO everyoNe waS in baD mooD..

thinGs chaNgE aFter sOMEtimEs.. eveRyonE haD loTS oF fUN.. pRepAring thE foOD.. i teLL u arh.. thE taSte Veri dELiciouS!! i can't stop eatinG.. jokE ard.. plaY ard wiT waTer, e fiRe exTinGuiSh, tHE tv n maNy morE..

not foRgettinG, mrs li n mrS lee caME, shE bought waTermeLon n saTaYs.. hEHe.. n tHEy sEnd uS hm!! sO gOod oF thEm.. mS checK was sO kinD.. sHe boughT us piZza n breaD.. nicE2.. sHE aLSo let us usE e laPtoP.. so nicE of hEr.. haHAZ..

3 rEtaRdEd fREaKs.. hahAz..

gRoup pHotO..

3:58 PM

hospiTAl agaIn

yesTerdaY went to hospitaL agaIn, visIt maS.. ard 6 plus reaCh.. aLonE agaIn.. but whO cares, perfer to BE aLonE.. me, mysELF n i.. hahAZ..

oHh yah, befoR thaT.. guEss whO i saW.. my forM teacher, ms chEck.. alamak.. in thE buS, 73, to go aNg mo kiO.. sAt behind hEr.. thaN sHE droP at the saMe bustoP.. aiyoH.. so i walk faSter lOl.. thaN i tooK mRt.. thaN i saW her agaIn.. alamaK.. no other daY caNnot c hEr huH.. can waIt tiLl todaY riTE.. haHAZ..

thiS timE got daYAh, kiki, mooN n kOko n hEr mUm.. samE thiNg haPPen.. taLk2, jokE2, laUgh2, eaT2.. than ayu caMe wit her daD n mUm.. thaN taLk2 lOl.. taLk rubbish.. hahAz.. fuN wiT theM aLSo..

at niTE, ard 9 pluS.. mE, daYaH, maS n aYu haD dinner.. MAS MUM BUy FOR Us, ChiCken riCe.. wE maKe tHE visitinG area liKE ouR housE.. sO meSsy tHE tablE.. haHAZ..

aRd 10 pluS wE went hM lOl..taKE mrt.. me dRop at toa payoH thaN taKe bus 159.. daYaH n ayu drop at aNg mo kiO lOL...

e enD.. eHH, haVen.. reacH homE i die mY hair.. twicE.. befOr i go hospitaL diE liaO.. go hm dIE agaIn.. haHAZ..my muM do fOR mE.. sO tHE baik sIAk.. firsT tiMe c hEr sO gD.. haHAZ..

5:08 AM

Sunday, November 13, 2005
aT e hosPitaL

feW hourS aGo.. i wAS at taN toCk sEng hosPitaL to viSiT mY fREn, maS, whO haD aN accidEnt.. buT thaN sHe don't eVen knOW wAT haPPen at aLL.. aIyoH.. likE hEr mum saY, "sHE gonE caSe".. iF liKE thiS sHE caN't go hM laH.. haIZ, poor gaL..

wHen thEre aLone.. coZ befOR thaT i wEnt oUt.. i cUt mY haIr!! sO haPpy.. nicE to mE buT no nicE to othErs.. hiaZ.. nexT steP is to diE my haIr.. wakAKa.. enough abt thaT.. baCk to e sToRy.. reach there, loSt!! wEnt oUt oF thE mrt statioN.. than reach to thiS shoPPinG maLL.. finD e exiT.. buT thaN no sIgn oF ttS hospitaL bUt kK hospitAl.. sO i guESs i wEnt thE wronG exiT.. fiNd tHE othEr exiT thaN got sAw onE noTe saY "thiS way to ttSh".. thaT meaNs i finD my way to ttSh liaO.. hahAz.. bouGHt chicKEn piE at polaR.. coZ i knoW i can't go thEre emptY haNded riTe.. thaN sOme moRe sHE liKE chickEn piE.. haHAz.. wEnt to tHE lifE.. wAnted to preSs leveL "17" but tHAN thEre is no lEvel "17"!! iT up to levEL 13.. omG.. i thiNk i heaRd wronglY.. sO smS ifah, ifaH caL, said levEl "7".. aiYOh.. i think i muZ dig mY eaRs.. haHAZ..

finD hEr waRd liaO.. got maS, fia, diL, haN, koKo n mOon.. taLk2.. laugh2.. thaN haN go hM.. diL sEnd him dOWn.. coME uP n thaN caMe faH, aN n iz.. taLk2.. laUgh2.. jokE2.. thaN go ouT a whilE wit dil.. buy water.. thaN me forgOt to brinG hp.. go in n than oUt.. take my wAter.. trY to caL zai.. buT canNot get through.. wAnteD to taLk to hiM coZ i neD hiS lisTeninG eaRs.. i wAN to sHout oUt loud.. buT caNNot..

[[beeN wOnderinG sincE yesterday, n i found oUt mysElf.. wOnderinG izziT truE.. buT turN up goinG to truE went i saw thaT...]]

go iN.. taLk2.. laugh2.. wondering.. thinkinG.. sMS him.. him aS in zai.. to maKE mE laUgh agaiN.. nVr repLy.. buT thaN got, aFter sOme timE.. no idEa y i dID thaT.. beeN loNg sincE i laSt sMs hiM.. if noT foR aN or izzit iz or maybe both oF tHEm.. i won't be smsinG hiM.. sO i veri grateFuL to thEM eveN though i m not sO please.. haHAZ..

untiL 6.30 pluS.. fia, dil, fah, an n iz wenT hM.. thEY ask aLonG.. buT dOn't feeL likE to.. so staY tHEre untiL 10.30.. taLk2 wiT their cousiNz.. they r funNy u knOW.. n smart Too.. e-iN n his freN caME a few miN later.. taLk2.. they romAncE2.. we doIng oUr oWn bussinESs.. taLk2.. the fuNnY part is thaT wenT maS teSt e-in aBt coloUrs.. hE reaLLy colouR blinD siAK.. everyonE laUgh likE heLL wen his say wronG colOuR.. aIyoH.. pPL ask wat shirt thaT coloUr wAS.. he saY reD, buT thaN it wAS greeN.. haHAz.. i thiNK he onli caN c the colour yellow, blUe n reD.. the reST he mix up.. haHAz..

thaN riTE, got this needle foUnd in maS haNd to carry sOdiuM waT ever to her bodY.. tHE waTer waS traNsparent n wE saW reD.. everyoNE paNic.. koKo caL the nursE, maS haNd waS shakinG, mooN hoLd the needlE, mooN aSk e-in to coVEr maS eyeS cOZ sHE afraId of boOLd.. thaN e-in wAS liKE "aKu puN lemah semanGAT.." he aLSo scared oF blooD, hahAZ.. thaN mooN said thaT kOko aLSo stupid.. got belL to preSs he waN to ruN outsIDe.. haHAz.. kOko thaN wEnt baCjk to the wArd, sayinG he is stupiD.. coZ he forgeT thaT there a beLL.. haHAZ.. u knoW lah me.. sIt thEre watchinG tHEm.. haHAZ..

thaN kOKo n mooN wenT hm.. foLLow bY e-iN n his frEn.. tHAt time waT aBt 8 pluS.. n thaN left me aLone.. accoMpaNy hEr lOl.. c hEr likE poOr thing.. sO taLk2 until 10.30.. taLk aLot siaK.. been daYS i laSt taLk to hEr.. sUpposElY today go jln raYe buT turN oUt goinG to e hospital.. haiZ.. tolD her thaT i would bE workiNg aS a cleaNer.. haHAZ.. thaN taLk abt e-in.. sHE is luckLy to haV a guy liKE hiM.. to gD to be trUE thaT sure guyS liKE him exisT in thiS worLD.. taLk abt mE liKE, i m goinG to chaNge after thaT accident.. cOZ i aLready tolD mysElf toO.. taLk aBt the accidEnt.. haLf waY taLkinG, sHE remeMbEr waT happEn to thE roaD accidEnt.. i waS likE, waH, m i gD, sHE remEmbEr sMth, aT laSt.. haHAz.. sld taLk more to her todaY...

timE paSs.. wEnt hM.. waNted to staY lonGer or eveN staY there but caN't.. mum doN't leT.. thaT wAs it.. wEnt hM by mrT drop at toa payoH.. neeD a lonG riDe hm to relax mY minD.. wondEring, thinkIng aFter thaT thinGY.. n than caME by mas msG.. sHE knoW how i feLt becOZ of thaT thingy.. actuaLLy i not jeaLous oR saD or aNythiNg.. juZ shoCk.. hMm, haPPy i guEss foR hiM n foR mysElf, i thinK..

naH untiLL nexT tiME i teLL abt thE thingy.. dOn't knOW if i wANt to wriTE aNot.. oHh k thaN waN to sLEeP.. nitE2..

7:57 PM

Saturday, November 12, 2005
yeaH2..

exaM is ovEr!! no neeD to sTudY aNimoRe!! yEAh2.. i m streSs frEe agaIn..
hopE i aIm b3 n aBovE for my mAth.. hopE onLi.. but thaN i caNNot faiL or have juZ paSs maRkS onE.. muz at leaSt haVe moRe thaN paSsinG marK.. if noT.. i dOnt't wAN to studY maTh liaO.. haIZ..
noW goinG to lOOk fOR joB.. beFor thE cominG weeK muZ havE joB liaO.. iF noT vEri hard to fInd liaO.. sO noW, i muz reaD newspaPer everydaY.. hahAZ...
k thaN.. gOT nth to saY.. waIt untiLL thEre iS claSs bbQ.. haHAZ.. i m comiNg..

3:25 AM

Wednesday, November 09, 2005
haTE u..

oMg.. omG.. Omg..
y caN my fREn sAW u buT noT mE..
y?? totaLLy not faiR..
y dId i noT waKe uP n mEeT my fREn..
y?? m i thaT slEePy..
y thE heLL i nvR go oUt todaY..
y?? m i laZy..
y dId i noT studY outsidE..
y?? i dOn't knOW..
y m i sO obSeSs aBt thiS..
y?? m i goinG nutS..
yAh i m.. oF courSe..
sIncE e sKOOl closE i nvR c hiM.. untiL noW..
n i dOn't thiNK i caN evEr c hiM agaIn..
i wAN to stab mysElF wiT a knifE..
n cRy aLL nitE...
hELp mE..

6:15 PM